you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
