Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
