wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
