Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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