marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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