So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
