Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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