we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
