I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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