I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We need to get me chipped asap
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
