Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize