just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
false alarm, still single
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
