wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
