Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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