i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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