think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
