I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You're like the curious george of whores
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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