that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
