i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
