Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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