I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize