Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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