The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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