D3 body, D1 cock
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
