I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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