I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm just crazy horny about you
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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