I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
