please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
