I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
