His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
