I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
