Sry I called you an 8
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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