; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just made out with a guy for $7.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
