dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize