I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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