I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
