We're like a lot better than the average bears
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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