he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
