She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize