Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
