Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
