Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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