I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
