You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
