It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize