so explain again why im purple
no
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
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She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
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He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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