A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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