he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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