He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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