I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
