I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
