Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
