i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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