does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
this boner is exhausting
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How external is "for external use only"?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
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