Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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