Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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