it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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