I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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