Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
