That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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