Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
