end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm always down for nudity.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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